1st september

7 more dayz to ur birthday..
distance between us is further n further..
n u won't come closer as i imagined..

i hv gotten back to the previous me..
everynite think of u before i sleep
everynite thinking are u ok..
everynite crazy bout u..
everynite dreaming bout u..

juz cant stop thinking bout u..
but when i msg u..
u take so long to reply me..
make me so sienz..
cant u reply faster...?

feel so hard to get a topic that v could chat like be4..
r u with me now..?
will u acept wat will i do for u?

21st August

18 天后就是你的生日了..
今天刚好另一个朋友生日..
你也有出来庆祝..
不知道为什么..
今天喝茶有那种很想快点回家的感觉..
很难融进她们的话题..
能做的就是做傻瓜做傻事..@.@

我人真的不能无聊..
无聊就会胡思乱想..

开始觉得..
我不该继续纠缠你..
对你来说..我烦吗？

今天我在想的东西都是这个..
就像今天..
我是多出来的那个吗？
考试是我今天还做你后面..
还写了一大堆字..

距离得那么靠近..
却是那么的遥远..
我的心还是寂寞..
可是却说不出口..

如果有一天，

我们分离了之后..
却又再次在一起..
你心里会有我吗..
缘分会这样安排？

我的感触，大概是这样..
问题又来了..
我想要我们在一起..
但是我能要就能吗？

20th august

在多19天就是你的生日了...


今天感觉好无奈..
想放弃你的感觉又来了..
很难和你像以前那样聊天了...
再加上最近几天又有考试..
我又无端端会想起以前怎样教你读书..

现在虽然你更靠近我了..
可是感觉上距离总是越来越远..
今天考试是我想了很多..
我觉得我是没机会了的..
因为我到现在都不知道..
我有没有在你心中出现过..

今天突然又在想清楚我和你的关系..
我们只不过是朋友，

你做什么东西, 又干我什么事?
你不回我简讯，我有资格生气吗？
你和别人有说有笑，我有权不高兴吗？

今天补习后..看到点我不太想看到的事..
可是我能说什么？
我的确有点不太高兴..但是没办法啦..
装大方也要装下去..
很虚伪地笑了两下，眼睛苗你一下就走了..
之后还看到你妈载你回家的车..
有点想传简讯给你的..
可是拿着电话发呆而已..


不知道为什么，今天总觉得我和你个着很大的距离..
现在的我好模糊..

我..该不该为你准备那份生日礼物？

14th august..

25 more days to ur birthday..
quite long time didn update this blog..
cz too many things happen..
so much things happen till.....i duno wat to do..

when i want to let go,
there will b something that make me doesn't do so..
2day is another day..

when i at skul,
i started to find it difficult to talk to her again..
when i gt a chance to talk to her, piles of homework given by teacher again..@.@
i even nearly lost her papers [she lend to me to copy].....
now even homework oso bully me n forbidden me to talk to her..@.@

but juz when v can't find a chance to talk,
a chance drop in front of me..
xin jie decided to go tesco be4 v go bio tuition..[i same tuition wid her]
so xj n salyi walk in front, v walk slower..

suddenly..pi li ba la..
me n her anything oso can chat..@.@
go tesco lagi 奇怪...
becz i hvn eat my lunch, she tell me to go buy..@.@
then when reach tuition, sumore let ppl say v 2 pat tuo..
lolz..
tat time my 1st reaction is stare at her..
how on hell would i noe,
she hv the same reaction..lolz..

duno wat to say..n duno wat i feel..
tat time i m totally stunned..cant move..

juz kinda strange tat this kind of thing happen..
especially on the time that i have nearly wanna let go..@.@

7th august

31 dayz left to ur birthday..
i m completely halted to do any action now..
yesterday, mayb i scared u..

actually, that is a cup of 'vitamin C'..
juz to let u get better soon..
when u giv back me, i really duno wat to do..
for sure, i m vr dissapointed.
but wat to do..?
mayb i aint ur match..

2day is another day..
duno y juz feel so difficult to find a topic to chat wid ya..
keep on say cold stuff only..
no wonder u oso tak tahan la..

wanna chat wid u..
wanna stay wid u..
wanna take care u..

can i do so..?

but this juz make me more n more careless n do noob stuff..
i dun meant to b emo..
but, juz when things juz arent tat smooth, i will emo..
when i emo, stupidity take over me n something noob come to my mind again..

so..now..
should i really take myself off u..?
or should i go forward..?
or should i stay put..?
either path is juz another dead end..

what should i do..?
tell me how..
n more importantly..m i in ur heart...before..?

5th august

34 dayz more till her birthday...
2day i went to skul after 1 day absent..

starting to find her shadow in the hall..
but i juz cant c her around..
mayb juz tat i didn c her..

then when i go back for chemistry, i cant c her around again..
the 1st thing tat crossed my mind is tat she being held back by prefect because of fizikall problem..
when time goes on..
i realised tat she is absent 2day..

so..i didn c her for 2 dayz in total...
kinda miss her a bit..
so now at skul write about her..

the worst thing of all, she is sick..
have a quite severe fever..
i heard tat yesterday her face are nearly colourless in skul..
no wonder ytd she wanted to take nap..
when fever the feeling really sucks...
haiz..really pity..
i again, a helpless dude..
if i m given the chance, i will teman her until she gets better..
jz hope that i could hv the power to make her cure..


her fever is a fever so severe that if didn eat medicine, temperature will rise again..
duno y, those words that she send to me make me feel vr worry of her..
kinda want to sms her..
but it is better to let her rest..

do get well soon, drink more water..
i m really worried bout u..

3rd august

36 more dayz to ur birthday..
the same question asked me again n again...
but i tink more than, half of my soul decided that this is the last time i do such noob stuff for her..

duno y..
2day feel quite emo..
mayb cz she same group with LAI KAM HOE..
wat the !"£$%^&*O(
so lucky orh she..
same group with tat wei ka..
sien sien sien.
i pula with ymoon..
haiz..
if she take the no.then she same group with me dy lor..no nid with tat wei ka..
sien like hell..

n..2day i found out something..
she looks like going to sick..
juz keep on go refill water..

u muz take care of ur body orh..
drink more water...
good 4 ur body..

1st august

38 dayz to ur birthday..
i m still struggling m i really going to do tat 4 u..
its a whole new month, a whole new life, but same old crush..
juz cant get rid of u..
u taken a big place in my heart..n u hvn giv tat back yet...

2day v went to into college..
for sure. she did go with me..
its my 1st time to inti main campus at nilai..
but its a vr nice visit...

xin jie so good..she help me create chance..
so i sit beside her in the lab...[4 approximately whole trip ler]..
kinda great memory 2day..
take lotz of photo..
with her, teach her de..act noob de..
wat oso gt...

but when i wan send all those photos..
zzz..
the sender ter-press 'c' button [sony ericsson], then all hilang..

wakao..
is god making fun of me..?
or it is my destiny to beyond reach to her..?
tell me y..?
y such thing can happen..?

then after a long trip..
i heard another sad story again..
wat the..another pair broke off..
with an equally say story..

n the date of seperation, 13/7...
wakao..
2 frens..
1 13/7,another 20/7..
both is long term couple..
both broke up on monday..
both broke up by msg..
both broke up on july..
both broke up news, i juz noe it this week..

wat a sad week to end..
haiz..this make me feel insecure..
how if this kind of stuff happen to me..
or, i wun even hv chance to be with her..?
i juz duno wat to say now..

i'm perhaps to terrified to do any act..
i scare i will be another victim of heart broken disease..
haiz..